WOW

Sorry guys I really did not mean for this much time to pass since my last blog post. School this semester was extremely difficult and I really didn't have time to do anything but study. So I for the last few months I have done nothing but memorize parts of the body and solve algebraic equations. I did take one amazing class however which was a creative writing class. It challenged me so much as a writer and I would like to acknowledge my teacher in my book if it ever actually gets published. I had not time to work on my story or my book but that doesn't mean I didn't grow as a writer or get inspired.

For the first time I shared my writing with others that were not my close friends or family members. I was able to get feedback and change my writing to make it better and more descriptive. I learned to describe what my characters see without stating it outright and also found a way to make my characters even more real. I have to ask myself what do they want and why do they want it? I have held mock interviews with my character. Now you may think this is crazy but it works. You get to see how this character would respond to certain things as well as being able to understand them better.
This class challenged to right from different point of views and to see things differently and I believe  that I am a better writer because of it.

I love to write. There is no doubt about that. But sometimes life gets in the way and I don't have as much time as I want. But I have not forgotten about this blog or my book. I plan to work on both. I can't wait until my book is published and my story is told the best way that it can be. It may take time but I hope that you can have patience with me.

Because I am not so afraid about sharing my writing with you I have included a short story that I turned in for my creative writing class. I am not including any of the book I am writing because even though I trust you guys someone could stumble upon my blog and try to steal my story and I have worked too hard on it to let that happen. The name for my short story is Blurred Lines.

She gazed up at the sky face relaxed and a small smile playing at her lips. Her chocolate hued hair covered part of her face but she made no move to wave it away. The eagles, the focus of her attention, where circling each other slowly, powerful and unafraid. She wanted to be with them. Lines of longing were etched across her face and one small shining tear slipped across her face before she had a chance to stop it. She brushed it away, furious with the momentary betrayal. Why couldn't she be free? These small moments by herself were the only piece of freedom she ever got to glimpse and they were becoming fewer and fewer until she knew they would eventually stop altogether.

She soon returned her gaze to the thick art pad that rested gently across her knees, her brow furrowed in concentration. Although she had only drawn one line it was not from lack of trying. There were just too many things around her begging for her attention. She did not know where to start so the only thing to mark her page was the single line. That was how she felt right now. I single line on one a big canvas. A sharp buzzing sound caused her head to smack against the tree that had supported her weight since she were a small child. A small red light blinked in time with the buzzing and she let out a muffled groan. She had ten minutes to get home and her older sister Katya could only cover for her for so long. Besides Katya really was a terrible liar and they could not rely on their father's absent mindedness forever. She smiled fondly at the thought of her sister. She used to be jealous of her and the way everyone always thought Katya was an angel and must have lost her way from heaven. After many years of jealousy and bitterness Karu had finally accepted herself for who she was and had stopped trying to be her sister years ago. When her brother Khan was alive he said she had a wild streak ten miles long and would only grow longer as she got older. But he wasn't here and she needed to get home. So she ran.

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She had barely beat her father home but thankfully, was not forced to make up some excuse as to why she was sticky and breathing like their old mastiff. Now they sat around the table sipping on the warm soup Katya had made from scratch. Karu allowed the soup to warm her insides and sat back and watched her father and sister talk animatedly over whatever new break through he had accomplished.

She hadn't seen him this excited since he had discovered a way for babies in the womb to be genetically turned into the Tanu. There had been a press conference and celebrations. As if hearing her thoughts heard the words murmured by her father.

“What about a press conference?” Karu asked, interrupting their conversation.

“I was just telling your sister that I am making a press conference tonight and that both of you will be attending.” Karu flinched slightly at the end of his sentence knowing it was directed at her and she still wasn't forgiven. It had happened right after Khan was murdered. He had fought against it and for the people and their rights to remain human. The Tanu were half human and half animal. Genetically engineered to take all the humans strengths and combine them with all the strengths of a matched animal. He had been ripped apart by a group of Tanu that knew about his attempts at rebellion. Karu and Katya had been forced to hide in the shadows and watch their brothers death and hear his screams. They hid because they promised their brother and not spoken of it since. Karu had tried to go to her father's press conference but she could not attend something that celebrated the things that took her big brother from her. Her father had obviously still not forgiven her.

“Tonight. that's kind of short notice don't you think?” She noticed Katya frantically shaking her head, blonde curls whipping about her face, but it was too late to take back her question.

“It makes no difference. What matters is that you both will be there.” He then got up from the table signaling the end of the conversation. Karu and Katya were left as usual to clean up the mess from dinner. They worked swiftly and quietly, each buried deep into herself with thoughts they did not wish to share with their sister. Within what seemed like minutes their father entered the now pristine kitchen and ushered them out the side door.

They trailed behind him like little goslings as he weaved his way around the people, who like them, were making their towards the center of the town. The air crackled around with silent and nervous energy and if any one did dare to speak it was in a hushed and almost fearful tone. Karu's heart beat erratically and it was almost impossible for her to swallow. Somehow she sensed that this announcement would change her life forever. There was a large gathering by the town square. About half of them were supporters but the other half held signs that said things like “Proud to be human,” and “Freedom for the people” as well as one crudely painted one that said “Die Tanu Die.”

Their father stepped up to the podium guided by some guards who followed him almost everywhere. The minute he opened his mouth their was absolute silence. No one would ever make the mistake of describing Peter Kahzdan as being small or undistinguished. He always carried himself as if he were a king among peasants and was always immaculately dressed. He hadn't always been so stern however. When Katya and Karu's mother still lived he had smiled and had made sure to always have the weekends off to spend with his family.

“I would like to thank you all for coming and supporting me and my team.” His voice boomed across the square and and cheers and boos followed. Katya and Karu shared a fearful look each knowing how rowdy crowds could become. Multiple militia men and remained at the edges of the crowd and around the stage and podium where their father resided. He swallowed and a thin sheen of sweat glistened across his entire face. For a moment Karu thought her father was afraid. But what was he afraid of? Many people admired him and he made more than five times the average annual salary. He was protected at all times so what did he have to be afraid of? He looked around at the crowd of people and when he caught Karu's eye he smiled sadly. The look in his eyes seemed to ask for her forgiveness.

“As you know research has been done to discover a way to permanently combine humanity and animal strengths to make one superior race. That is now possible. We have discovered a way to make fully formed humans into the Tanu. Starting tonight mandatory procedures will be enacted and all healthy humans will experience the wonders of being superior. Myself included. In fact my daughters and I will be the first.” Karu's heart stopped completely and her temperature seemed to drop to below zero. She reached out for Katya's hand and clasped it tightly. The crowd surged forward some cheering and happy but a great majority of it was angry and dark. Katya screamed as a hand reached out and yanked hard at her hair. Three of their father's guards pushed them forward forcing their way through the roiling mass. They were rushed towards the hospital building so fast that Karu almost tripped twice. Once safely inside the young women clung to each other, hearts beating simultaneously.

“Why would he force us to do this? He didn't even ask us.” Karu practically spat out the words.

“He and I talked about it at dinner. He doesn't have a choice.” Katya pushed a curl away from her face and wiped away a tear. The council has been questioning his loyalty after Khan was killed. Can you blame them? Khan was the leader of the biggest rebellion in either of our life times. Father needed to find away for them to trust him, trust us. This was the only way that he could find. So he is saving our lives by sacrificing our humanity.” The last part was said with more venom than Karu had aver heard from her sister.

“Katya I had no idea.”

“I know that was the whole point. You were my little sister. When Khan died I was now the oldest. And when mother died I also had to take care of the household. But I took that on because I wanted you to not worry about anything. I know that you used to feel less than and that you thought I was perfect but in truth I was jealous of you and your free spirit. I never wanted you to lose that. Promise me that you will never lose it.” Karu's eyes over flowed but even though her vision was blurred she finally saw her sister. Her sister was not the weak one, or the one that needed protecting. She was stronger than all of them.

“Katya we will get through this. We have gotten through so much worse and we survived. We can survive this.” A door burst open and their father walked and wrapped his arms around him. His shoulder's shook and it took a while for Karu to realize that he was crying. He had not cried or hugged them since their mother's funeral.

For the longest time Karu had looked at her father as the hateful villain that was cold hearted and cruel, but now she saw that this was not the case. “This will be hard for all of us and I can't protect you guys. I tried to keep you out of my work but I am sorry that I could not do more. I love you girls always know that. Everything will change after this but we will still be a family.”

Another side door opened again and this time a rush of people burst in. Time slowed as doctors and soldier broke them apart leading each in their own direction. Karu was placed on a gurney and a needle of anesthesia was placed in her arm. Thoughts whirled in her head and all she could think about was her family and how she needed them. Before she knew it everything went to darkness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Karu was awake enough to understand her surroundings she found one of her father's colleagues sitting on the bed next to her.

“I see that you are awake now. The surgery went well. You are officially a Tanu and you should be so proud of this accomplishment. Your father would be so proud.” Karu stared at him blankly and then froze as she realized he was speaking in the past tense.

“What do you mean was?” The man's eyes grew sad and she had her answer. She could not cry she felt too numb for that.

“I'm sorry for your loss but we knew that not everyone would make the transition. Do you want to know your match?” He did not wait for an answer but instead barreled on as if unsure of how to comfort her. “Your father chose it. Its an eagle. You should be able to see clearer and farther than any human and you should be able to fly. You should have wings.”

“When did he die?” His answer stunned her.

“Six months ago. We had to keep you under for a year to make sure that everything was maturing properly. Don't worry your vitals were monitored for every second of every day” But that would mean that Karu was now twenty-one and that couldn't not be right. Her father died six months ago and she hadn't felt a thing. That couldn't be right. What about Katya.” Karu tore the iv drip out of her arm and rose from the bed.

“That would be most unwise. You will be very weak.” He tried to push her gently down but she shoved him away. She was not weak. The Tanu were never weak. If they were they would inferior. The man fell against a dresser with a hard smack and lay still. She did not check for a pulse she did not think too. The only thought she could manage was getting to Katya.

After hiding and losing her way she finally found Katya. She lay still and cold in the morgue. Karu felt her heart rip out and join her sister and she knew she could never feel again. The hospital smell almost made her sick and she knew she needed to get out. There was nothing left for her any more. She ran. Past the panicked shouts and angry soldiers. Past the people and Tanu on the streets. She ran past her house that had sheltered her all her life and she ran past her mother and brother's graves.

She ran to her clearing where she had always felt safe. This time she ignored the feel of the grass and the warmth of the sun. She ignored the big open sky and the sound of the wind. She ran to the cliff where the eagles flew free and when they called to her she understood them. Karu stood at the edge of the cliff her toes hanging over. The was nothing but ocean and sky for miles but she was not afraid. She felt nothing as she thought of her dead family. She was not even upset about becoming the thing she had hated for so long. She could not. Not when her father had chosen the animal grant her freedom. Not when she realized how much her sister had loved and protected her. She did not know if she would fall or fly but she did not care either. Karu closed her eyes and pictured her family and she stepped off the edge.